“I’ve read where you’ve mentioned you have often been asked by readers how you did it, how you made them feel so much. Well, I must tell you I think I know exactly “how” you did it: it was the Holy Spirit. He was there, guiding every word. You managed to wrap each and every word in this blanket of emotion and feeling. I felt like I was there, not just emotionally, but actually physically and spiritually there.
I’m so very glad that God put you and Dawson into my path this Lent. It’s been a hard Lent for me – I’ve done really well with my resolutions and that kind of thing – but emotionally, I’ve felt very disconnected this Lent. Disconnected from the Church, disconnected from my faith, even somewhat disconnected from God Himself. I didn’t feel it this Lent. I was going through the motions, and trying so hard, but I kind of felt like I was in this vacuum and even God wasn’t in there with me. No matter what I read, did, or prayed, it felt like God was ignoring me and my attempts to move closer to Him.
But, I see now that what He was really doing was getting me ready for this book. That “disconnect” that I’d been feeling really allowed me to open up and really feel the raw emotion in your story. I cried so many times while reading it, but those tears were often tears of thanksgiving. I was thankful for that tugging on my heart and that cocoon that your words built for me. The chance to feel so many emotions that I know God had put in front of me for a reason. God hadn’t ignored me – He was getting me ready to see Him.
I had been so worried over the past few weeks. How could I ever fully experience the Triduum if I wasn’t feeling anything? What was wrong with me that my emotions weren’t being affected by the fact that we were reliving Jesus dying for me? Why wasn’t God there for me?
All along, He was there for me. He was getting me ready for this book. Finishing it on Holy Thursday is so very amazing to me – I still feel raw, emotionally. Good Friday is going to be intense for me as I’m still wrapped in that cocoon of emotions. You definitely reached into my heart and touched feelings that I never even knew I could experience.
All of these emotions, this “raw”-ness, these feelings that I didn’t know existed are leading me to a totally different experience of Good Friday than one I’ve ever experienced before. Your writing stirred up such deep love, such deep pain, such deep gratitude that experiencing Jesus’ death is going to be incredibly intense. Having the pain of a mother losing her child in my heart will only intensify my experience the pain that God must have felt watching His Son die on the cross. That pain in my heart can only lead to a deeper, true gratitude and sense of awe. For that I am so very thankful to you for your writing. I’m grateful to Dawson for making you do it!
Thank you for writing this, and thank you for getting it to me so quickly. Thank you for helping me find the true meaning of Lent this year.”
A Reader’s Beautiful and Humbling Letter
